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Ask An Expert: How Do I Tell My Parents That… I’m Gay? [VIDEO]

Struggling with the decision on when and how to come out of the closet? Gay Matchmaker and Dating Coach J. Cameron Gantt discusses strategy on how to break the news and live your best gay life!

 
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Posted by on January 9, 2013 in Uncategorized

 

Don’t Be A Dick! 3 Rules For Being An Awesome Wingman

Last night, I took my first client of 2012 out for a couple of drinks. I try to do this as often as possible because in order to help my guys up their social game, I have to see them in action. For the sake of this posting, we are going to call my client “Ted.” We ended up bumping into one of his friends, who we will refer to as “Dick” and it

Are you a good wingman?

Are you a good wingman?

was interesting to see the dynamic between them. Everything was all jokes and laughter until it was time for Ted to make a move on a guy he had been eyeing. (We’ll call him “Sean”)

Now Ted is a bit on the shy side, so I stepped in as his wingman for the evening and made the introduction. As our foursome began to chat it up, I noticed the energy shift. Dick was going in for the kill on Sean and Ted was allowing him to do it. As much as I wanted to speak my mind, I let it go because there was a very important lesson that Ted needed to learn here, but it wasn’t the time or the place to discuss it.

Ted and I ended up having coffee at a Northside diner and I could tell by his face that his mind was cluttered with loser thoughts. “That’s what usually happens when I try to make new friends… they end up going with Dick.”

Now, I’m sure that Dick is probably a nice guy, but they have a name for guys like him… Yep, you guessed it COCKBLOCKER and there’s usually one in every social circle, especially a gay one.

I explained to Ted what happened and gave him my advice on how to deal with it. So what was the lesson?

Not All Of Your Friends Are Capable or Worthy Of Being Your Wingman!

Friends Just Don't!

Friends Just Don’t!

You and I both wish they could but they can’t. There is a certain set of criteria that a wingman needs to be able

to meet. Here are my top 3 rules for qualifying a successful wingman that will help you prevent cockblockers from screwing with your opportunities.

1. Have The Same Mission

You have to have the same or similar mission. This means they either need to be on the hunt with you or on the hunt on your behalf. Anyone else and you shouldn’t be upset if they don’t lend you a hand because they have nothing to gain by seeing you succeeed.

2. Have Different Social Circles

Both or all of you, depending on how many are in your circle, need to have additional social circles outside of the one you share. This helps diversify your hunting grounds and ensures that there’s always fresh territory to cover. A guy with multiple social circles is less likely to cockblock because he knows that there are enough guys to go around.

3. Be Social Proof

Your wingman needs to be able to vouch for you and make sure everyone knows that you are the shizznit. This means your wingman needs to know all of your strengths and be able to talk them up. They also need to know your weaknesses and be able to either help you strengthen them, or divert attention away from them. You also have to be able to return the favor.

If you or your wingman are not comfortable being a sidekick sometimes, chances are you are going to block each other you the first chance you get to “prove” who is the alpha.

 
 

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Ask An Expert: Help! My Boyfriend’s Flirting is Out Of Control! [VIDEO]

Ask An Expert: Help! My Boyfriend’s Flirting is Out Of Control! [VIDEO]
Are you dating a guy who flirtatious nature is driving you insane?

I recently filmed a series of videos for YourTango.com’s “Ask An Expert” and this is one of the topics of discussion.

In this episode, I give you 3 of my best tips on how to flip the script on your flirty boyfriend and also add some sparks to your relationship with him.

Check out the video and let me know your thoughts! Make sure to leave me some comments and don’t forget to spread the love via Facebook and Twitter!

 

 
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Posted by on December 28, 2012 in Ask An Expert, Tips and Advice, Video

 

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11 Life Lessons Learned In 2012

Well Boys… 2012 is out the door and 2013 is right around the corner. Every year I like to take a look back and take not of the lessons I learned. Thanks to a very good friend

What lessons will you take into 2013?

What lessons will you take into 2013?

of mine, Ms. Versanette Blackman of FreeVerseProductions.com, I was inspired to share some of those lessons with you.

1. Think Big But Go  BIGGER! Always over deliver whenever possible.

2. Physical, Emotional and Spiritual Fitness is a Requirement for Sanity. Without a consistent regimen, your body and mind will start to fail you. Stay Healthy.

3. Every Opportunity Has A Shelf Life. It’s good to be detail oriented but don’t waste too much time planning or worrying about every single detail. You may look up and your opportunity will have passed you by.

4. Do What You Love as Often as Possible. Life is what YOU make it. Why not enjoy it?

5. Failure Is Almost Always Met With Success. Failure keeps you humble, but it makes success so much sweeter when you achieve your goals. Half-assed effort gets you half assed results.

6. Everything In Life Requires An Investment Of Some Sort. Financial, time, energy… Nothing in this world is for free. There is always going to be some sort of give and take so invest wisely.

7. Know When to Take Control and When to Fall Back. Especially in relationships. If you don’t trust your partner enough to let him/her lead every now and then… Your relationship is doomed. You can’t be in control all of the time.

8. Be Selective About the Company You Keep. Your circle is your support system. Surround yourself with people who share similar goals and interests. Their strengths will rub off on you.

9. Winners Get Shit Done. Thanks to one of my mentors, Marie Forleo for this one. No matter what type of mood you are in, discipline yourself to do what needs to be done when it needs to be done.

10. Spread The Love Around. It makes you feel good to help those in need. It’s also good karma. Do as much as you can to make someone smile, even if it’s a stranger. The universe will tip its scales in your favor.

11. Your Life Starts When Your Ready. Having a life and living your life are two different things. You can be totally dead on the inside and be fully functional. When you make the choice to discover and act upon your passion… that is when the living begins.

There you have it guys. These lessons have added nothing but value to my life and I hope that it does the same for you.

I would love to hear about the lessons you have learned in 2012. Let me know your thoughts in the comments section below.

Do you have something special to achieve for 2013? Sign Up for a FREE 30 MINUTE LOVE RESOLUTIONS COACHING SESSION and let us help you live your best gay life!

 
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Posted by on December 28, 2012 in From The Coach, Tips and Advice

 

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FREE 30 MINUTE Love Resolutions Coaching Session!

Do you have something SPECIAL, something important for you to change in 2013? Let us help you unlock the secrets to your success with a FREE 30 MINUTE COACHING SESSION!

New-year-2013-wallpapers

If you want to speed up your success rate, then I’d like to help you do it with a special 1-on-1 personal “Love Resolutions” Coaching Session where we’ll work together to:

• Create a crystal clear vision for ‘ultimate success’ so you know exactly what you want, where you’re headed, and what you need to do to make it happen in 2013.

• Uncover hidden challenges that may be sabotaging your ability to make changes that last or that are slowing down your progress

• Leave this session renewed, re-energized, and inspired to finally achieve the change you seek- once and for all

If you’d like to take advantage of this very special, very limited, and totally FREE 30 minute “Love Resolutions Coaching Session”, here are some areas that I can ork with you on:

– Singles Supportnew_year_s_resolution

– Quality Dating

– Get Over Your Ex

– Flirting and Confidence

– Relationship (get into one)

– Relationship (improve the one I’m in)​

​ – Online Dating Strategies

Since I am making this offer for the first time right now and I don’t know how intense the response will be, I can’t guarantee a coaching session for everyone. I will take as many people as I can and then start a waiting list. You can expect to get contacted by our team to schedule your session within the next 3 business days.

CLICK HERE TO REGISTER

If you don’t hear from us, it means we’ve received more requests than we can handle right now and if something opens up we’ll get in touch with you at a later time.

Be sure to include your name and phone number so that someone from our office can give you a call and get you scheduled for this special 30 minute “Love Resolutions: 2013 Coaching Session” today.

 
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Posted by on December 27, 2012 in Freebies, From The Coach

 

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What’s Your Story? Plus 3 Ways To Change it

Everyone has a story that they tell themselves and others about who they are and how they got from point A-to-B. We all have our own journeys and the story we tell surrounding those journeys can be a powerful tool when it comes to allowing others to understand and relate to us on an emotional level.

Could your life story be keeping your from a bright future?

Could your life story be keeping your from a bright future?

So today I challenge you to ask yourself, what kind of story are you telling yourself when it comes to who you are as a person and is that story hurting or helping you?

If you are not sure how to answer that question, here are some questions you can ask yourself to help figure it out:

  1. How do you feel when you tell your story to yourself?
  2. How do you feel if/when you tell this story to others?
  3. How do people generally respond to you when you tell your story?

If your responses to these questions provoke a negative emotional/physical response from yourself or others, chances are your story is hurting you and it’s time to make some revisions.

Tweet This: Your story is your own, so own it. The choices you make, today will directly affect your future. Choose how your story ends.

Many of us fall victim to negative self-talk.  Comparing ourselves and competing with others, telling ourselves that we are not good enough and even changing ourselves into something we’re not for the sake of pleasing others. Trust me when I say it’s a trap. It never works and at the end of the day, you just end up hating yourself.

We have all been through bad situations. Sometimes shit just happens, but you can’t let those bad experiences hinder you from moving forward and getting the things you want.

So when it comes to you and your story, here are some things you can do to ditch the negative self-talk, but also create a clear understanding of who you are and where you want to go.

1. Always Look At The Bright Side Of The Situation

I know this is easier said than done, but you should always do your best to focus on the positive rather than the negative. Take the good with the bad, find the humor in the situation and accept the lesson this situation is teaching you.

2. Be Proactive

Every negative reaction should be met with a positive reaction to balance things out. Don’t focus on what you can’t do to change the situation, but rather on what you can do. The answer may not be as obvious and it may require you to get creative. If it’s important to you, you will find a way.

3. Don’t Be Afraid To Switch It Up

Life is about progression and evolution. Our stories change to accommodate whatever stage of life we are in. Think about it… Things that were important to you 3 years ago may not be as important to you today and things that are important today may not be important to you in the future. Sometimes, you have to change the way you do things in order to progress and succeed. Doing the same thing over and over again, expecting a different result is defined as INSANITY.

So there you go guys. If your story isn’t working to your advantage, give these tips a shot and let’s start working on recreating it.

I would love to hear some of your stories so make sure you comment below or shoot me a message at Jcgantt@instigaytor.com if you would like some free advice!
 
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Posted by on December 27, 2012 in From The Coach, Tips and Advice

 

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Welcome to The Playbook: Insti(Gay)tor’s Tips For Love Life & Success!

Welcome to The Playbook: Insti(Gay)tor’s Tips For Love Life & Success!

Hi Guys!

I personally want to thank you for checking out my new blog, The Playbook:

Insti(Gay)tor’s Tips For Love Life and Success! It has been in the works for a while and I am so happy to have this opportunity to connect with you.

Daily Love From Me To You!

Daily Love From Me To You!

In case you don’t know who I am, allow me to introduce myself. My name is Cameron Gantt and I am a certified life coach specializing in dating, love and relationships. I am also the founder of Insti(Gay)tor, an exclusive matchmaking agency for gay singles and I am an expert contributor for various lifestyle and dating magazines.

As a coach, I have worked with over one hundred gay men to empower them to take control of their lives and help them find love not only with someone else, but also within themselves.

I am a firm believer that everyone can use some extra support every now and then and I am all about spreading the love. Let’s face it… sometimes life can get complicated. Family, friends, career, a relationships… It’s a balancing act and just when you think you got the hang of it, life hands you a shit sandwich for your efforts… Frustrating isn’t it?

I know you have heard it numerous times but I am going to say it again. “Before you can find love with anyone else, you have to take care of and love yourself.” I know it’s seems cliché’ but it is true.

Tweet This: Once you master the art of loving yourself, everything in this universe will automatically align itself to your happiness.

If I had my way, we all would be living our best lives so, I got to thinking… How can I help gay men like myself bring focus, passion and purpose back into their lives? Outside of my premium content and services, what else could I be doing to help others get the things they want and need to be happy?

Gentlemen, I give you The Playbook: Insti(Gay)tor’s Tips For Love Life and Success!

 
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Posted by on December 26, 2012 in From The Coach

 

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